When we look at a world in chaos, we pull back the curtain and see fear manifested in all spheres of society. Fear to speak, fear to explore, fear to step out and try new things, fear of the future, fear of death, fear of the unknown, fear of our capabilities, flaws, failures, fear of truly trusting ourselves and others, fear of wars and destruction and natural disasters, fear of leaders breaking their promises. Fear of change and things collapsing or security being pulled out from under us, fear of dying of a deadly disease, fear of relationships and commitment. Fear of losing work, fear of never realizing dreams, fear of the economy and having enough supply of food and resources. Fear is more dominant and a driving force in the world than we would care to admit. What fears are driving you? How did they gain power and traction in your life? How do you shift perspective away from fear? When will you start?
Fear is, as some say, the False Evidence Appearing Real. Our feelings (gut instincts) and thoughts (mindsets) play a huge role in deciphering what is true, noble, right, pure, honourable, lovely, admirable, and excellent. Fear is that noise, the distortion, the lack of clarity and well-being we feel in the deepest recesses of our soul that bleeds out into all the areas of our lives. It is the shaky ground we try to build our lives on, and we wonder why things fall apart when we are tested. Fear is often perceptions and assumptions that do not reflect reality, and reframing how you see yourself and others is critical to conquering fears. The reality is fear diminishes the best parts of you and renders you unworthy, doubtful, and unable to move. It breeds indecision, gives you excuses, helps you practice avoidance, and disconnects you from your true self and life purpose. This unhealthy fear drives you away from goals, from trying to reconnect and rediscover a multitude of possibilities and opportunities in front of you. Fear creates a kind of blindness and gets you to see a false reality until transformation shows you otherwise. We all have blind spots and need a coach nearby to help us navigate through those tumultuous thoughts and complex and irrational emotions that can trick us from seeing the big picture. We need to shift our perspectives; as we do, we look at ourselves and the world differently. When you step out of fear, there is a whole world of opportunities and possibilities waiting just for you
What about healthy fear, you might ask? Yes, we have a natural wired response to fear that stimulates brain and body connection and helps us to respond in a way that keeps us safe or brings us into safety. No one comes to the edge of a cliff and willingly jumps off without a parachute, glider or some sort of thing to keep them airborne. Most high-risk sports tasks and efforts have a healthy amount of fear present. In these scenarios courage becomes the fuel to overcome fear. In this healthy context, F.E.A.R is defined with a new perspective: “Face Everything and Rise,” Confronting challenges and using them as opportunities for growth. When you have not given yourself permission to step out and try a new venture, follow through on a conviction or gut instinct or break the limitation of circumstance and just step out and try something new, you become enveloped, trapped and suffocated by false ideologies and you lose trust in yourself and others to face what is in front of you and rise to a whole new perspective and a whole new level of being. Creativity and innovation are squashed, and your thoughts are trapped in a rut. This is where transformational life coaching can help you break out and partner with you to level up and put your feet, thoughts, and actions in the direction of courage, virtue, honesty, and the best personal and professional outcomes. What is stopping your flow? What is blocking your progress? We do deep dives into the root of fear and unlock pathways and the lies stacked against your progress. Face everything, and rise is a powerful way to renew your mind and step into your true calling and passion. It all starts with the first step. Standing at the edge of a cliff or about to take the plunge off a bridge Bungy jumping ( yes, some people are crazy), I am sure their fear is not absent but somehow these folk have a connection to their mind and body that aligns the courage of spirit to rise in them to do what seems incredible and impossible to some. No risks, no rewards, but the greater the risks, the greater the rewards. They get to see views and discover things about themselves that most don’t, and some things you cannot really fully know till you actually experience them yourself. Olympic athletes and those who hold world titles push through failure feelings and fakeness to train under a coach to bring the best parts of their abilities to the surface. Super elite military teams train in remarkably difficult circumstances and subject their bodies and minds to vigorous routines, withstanding freezing cold conditions overnight and pushing their bodies to the absolute max. It is incredible what humans can endure and train their minds and bodies to do. I am always fascinated by the fact that we are capable of so much more than we give ourselves permission or credit for. In a similar way, life coaching refines and challenges and confronts those areas holding people back from breaking thresholds, facing their fears, and going the distance that many are unwilling to go. Early mornings, late nights, freezing cold, sweating heat, all conditions, all circumstances, backs and challenges are confronted head-on on, and then after the gruelling work comes the win. This is the difference between those that have a coach near as to whether you will avoid the challenges or advance in the face of challenges. The fear here can be the very fuel that you burn to get you to your next level.
Fear without the right perspective can quickly work against you. It entangles you with negative, discouraging self-doubting and defeating thoughts. It is the undoing of all the faith, work, tears and uncertainty you pushed through to get here. When you fuse to the wrong mindset and thought process, you diminish that essence you created in the image of God, and the very potential you hold to transform holds you hostage to wrong thinking. It leads to wrong and limiting expectations of yourself and others and excessive and unrealistic goals that create unattainable outcomes that cause further disappointments. It causes you to avoid people and situations that challenge you and cause discomfort in your cozy world of self-pity and unbelief. It shies away from anything that gets you to look at things differently. Holding on to uncertainty is more your identity than reaching out for change. Fear overshadows faith and turns possibilities into impossibilities. You then lose connection to what truly matters. The very things you hold close and true become remote values that seem out of reach. Most people throw their hands up in the air and forget what they started on the journey with, and disillusionment sets in, and piece by piece, your life becomes unravelled. Fear can become the unhealthy undermining voice in your life if you let it.
Most people don’t understand that we are doing the fear dance, especially in relationships. Your fear is making me do the dance, and my fear is making you do the fear dance; it is not the tango. It becomes a battle. When we allow someone to hold space and invest the time in our personal growth and development, we start to show up in healthy ways for ourselves and for others and contribute to community and organizational development. Fear hinders change and stops individuals and companies in their tracks from implementing or advancing any new thing that can better serve progress. Fear whines, complains, criticizes and contests while calmness and confidence quietly work on the things that can be changed. Fear renders you powerless in the face of adversity, and often your vision becomes blurry, and you end up second-guessing yourself, which inevitably leads to indifference. You are neither here present nor there planning and engaging creative ideas for your future self. When vision is blurred by fear, insecurity, and uncertainty are inevitable. You revert to old coping mechanisms or stay on the hamster wheel of life, churning over and doing the same old things that do not produce life and community. Fear brings on irrational thinking and skews your personal development and view. In these moments, it is important to have someone alongside you coaching you, helping you untangle and have clarity to move forward. When I am tired and in a funk, I often invite coaching into my world. The other day, I was at an all-time low and needed a new perspective. Having trusted voices on the call with me flushing out wrong thinking, learning how to breathe deeply, pray, and drill down deep into my core values reevaluate my thinking and remind me of the big picture. These types of connections and voices are essential to improve the quality of our lives, decisions, and actions personally and professionally. Fear will try to stop you and beat you down, but Love and Faith must remain your anchor to stabilize and redirect you every time so that you do not lose focus on your goals, dreams, and purpose. They say the grave is the richest place on earth because of the untold dreams, visions, desires, and unfilled destiny. I wonder how many passed up opportunities, connections, and realization because they were afraid and let fear dictate.
Fear is not the compass; Love is. Fear drives and can drive you mad and misdirect you, but love will always lead you to pleasant, vibrant, free spaces to be the best version of yourself and bring your beautiful contribution to a broken world. Do you really like you? Do you love yourself with all your shortcomings, failures, lack of direction, and frustrations? The truth is we cannot love and work with others if we do not truly love and work with ourselves, fully embracing all we are and reaching for all the refinement to all we can become. Fear avoids awkward and uncomfortable circumstances and dysregulates our ability to see ourselves and others clearly. Children are fearless. They walk into a room and will tell you the honest truth. How sad that as adults, we lose our freedom to hone in on honesty, and we dance around our fears with lies and masks and coverups, and inevitably, we make simple things complicated and complicated things impossible to deal with because of all the blockages we create in our minds. Simplifying and going back to childlikeness and having a curious learning open mindset can benefit you in moving from fear to love or fear to faith and a greater realization of all you can be.
Overcoming fear is a combination of self-awareness, mindset shifts as well as spiritual encouragement. Understanding fear helps shift perspective. Understanding that fear is not he enemy but signals to us an opportunity for growth and courage. Learning to reframe the narrative is really important for example moving away from feeling of failure as rather saying: ‘I am learning and growing through challenges.” Faith over Fear is a spiritual expression of Faith in a higher purpose and power than your yourself. Trusting that even though things are out of your control and there seems to be great uncertainty that things will work out. A confident reassurance and inner knowing comes with time and practice.
Identifying the root cause and naming your fear is a great step to clarity. Visualizing new positive and best outcomes instead of focusing on failure can help lead away from the anxiety that fear brings. Take small steps, talk about things that are hard with at least one person, get out of bed, take a shower and dress up like you are going somewhere, do practical enjoying things, hobbies and activities that move you, and when you get moving, you get to thinking and seeing things a different way as well you will see that there is more resilience in you. Find your safe people and support. Coaching, mentoring and community are great for getting you out of isolation and bringing you into a healthier way of walking out your fear.
Again, it is important to identify your fear (What am I afraid of?)
Challenge your fear (Is this true, or is this a limiting belief?)
Reframe the fear (What is the root issue here? What is really going on?)
Take action. (What small step can you take today?)
You don’t have to live a fear-based life. You don’t have to be overcome by negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that hold you hostage and confine you to inaction. Transformational coaching here at visionarypathways.ca can get you there. You are just one step away. You can do this, there is so much more waiting for you on the other side of your fear.